81 - Did You Hear?

Jon threw back his head and laughed when he saw the Super Sperm confection, slathered in white buttercream icing.  With a snake-like body, the cake’s rounded head was held high and sported a wide, toothy smile.  The bright ‘S’ on its ‘flowing’ red cape was in serious danger of being a Superman copyright-infringement. 

Thank God the kids are in the game room for this cake-cutting ceremony.

“What the hell is this?” Jon demanded of his keyboardist, noting that Sheridan’s face was a little flushed with embarrassment. 

“It’s a Super Sperm, sweetie,” she told him with a feisty show of bravado, giving him a cute little mini-smirk.  “You should recognize it, since I’m told you have them.”

His eyes narrowed and immediately zeroed in on David’s with the intensity of a laser.  “What have you been telling her?  Sheridan, I told you not to believe anything he says.”

“Hey, your potency is well-documented – for the fifth time now.  Blame your swimmers, not me.”

David’s wife smacked him on the shoulder as he took a picture of the cake.  Addressing the Bongiovis, she explained, “We didn’t figure you had much of a chance for wedding cake, so when David suggested one, I thought it was a good idea.  I should’ve known better than to trust him with ordering it!”

The dessert was cut into enough pieces for both families, making it unrecognizable as anything but cake before Jon volunteered to go gather the younger generation.

“It’s weird,” Jesse told Colton and Gabi, keeping his voice quiet so that the younger siblings didn’t hear.  “He leaves town and comes back married with a baby on the way.”

Colton snorted.  “No doubt, man.”

“What does Mandi think?” Gabi asked, tucking her hair behind her ear and looking up from the floor to where they sat on the leather couch.  “I mean, Sheridan is her aunt and Jon’s your dad.  THAT has to be weird.  Like incest or something.”

“It’s not incest.  We aren’t related at all,” he huffed.  “It’s funny how we were talking about this possibility a few days ago, though.”

“Hey, you yahoos,” his dad entered the room with a loud hand clap.  “Who wants cake?”

Jon grinned when the younger kids were on their feet in a flash.  The teen set, however, wasn’t quite so eager to get moving.  “What?  You’re too cool for cake now?  Come get a sugar buzz with the rest of us, why don’t ya?”

“We’re coming,” David’s twins said in near-unison as they ambled to their feet.

Noting that his own child was looking a little sullen, Jon hooked an arm around the young man’s neck as he rose from the sofa.  “Lighten up, kid.  You look like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.”

Jesse flipped his head, swinging the shaggy, overgrown bangs from his rolling eyes.  “Gimme a break, would ya?  People can’t be happy just because that’s what you want.  This takes some getting used to.”

Sighing, he released the boy with a paternal pat on the back and they trailed behind the Bryan kids, merging from the game room into the hallway that led to the main part of the house.  “I know it does.  But things are only as good as you think they are.  Positive outlook, Jess.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The ringing of Jon’s phone overrode the sarcastic agreement and he sent his son into the kitchen to join the others.  Pausing outside the doorway, he pulled the distraction from his pocket and a quick glance at the screen had him frowning thoughtfully.  It was unusual for his assistant to call him on an off night, especially considering how frequently they’d communicated recently.

“Hey, Jeri.  What’s up?”

“I have a feeling your blood pressure is about to be,” she informed him tersely.  “TMZ is blasting news of the wedding all over their website and on that damn TV show of theirs.”

He swore viciously.  “How the hell did that happen?  This wasn’t supposed to hit the public until Monday!  How did they get the press release already?”

“Their information is not my carefully prepared press release.”

“Then how did they get it?  Some staffer at the resort looking for a quick buck?  I thought you took care of all that shit.”

This is annoying as all hell, but it’s not disastrous.  Everybody who needed to know already knows.

“Jon-“   He held up an abrupt finger to silence Sheridan when she emerged around the doorway to fetch him, cake plate in hand.  She mouthed an apology and nodded her acknowledgement of the silent gesture that he needed a minute. 

Tranquil.  She’s done her damnedest, now do yours.

“Nevermind, Jeri.  I don’t care how they found out.  It’s nothing they weren’t going to get in a couple days anyway.”

His fearless assistant cleared her throat and, never being one to beat around the bush – mostly because he hated that – she informed him concisely, “There’s more.  They’re also saying Sheridan’s pregnant.”

“God-DAMN those pieces of fuck!!”

With the unexpected explosion of his temper, Sheridan went wide-eyed as a frightened rabbit and the plate in her hand tipped precariously toward the tile floor.  Jon’s colorful shouting not only scared the hell out of her, it had David’s head popping curiously into the hall even as he ordered the kids to all sit back down and finish their cake.

“I guess she is then.” Jeri’s voice was unjustifiably calm in his ear.

“Yes, she’s pregnant.”  It was everything he could do not to ream a new ass for arguably the best assistant he’d ever had.  The only thing that gave him any incentive to control himself was the suddenly ashen pallor his wife’s face.   She’d seen him annoyed, but this was a special kind of fiery rage he reserved for those nosy, blood-letting media vultures.  “I want you to find out WHO the hell has their nose in my goddamn business and I want it forcibly removed!  First Richie and now this.  I’m tired of this shit.  I want to know who’s getting their kicks by running their mouth!”

David took the wobbling plate and fork from Sheridan before they hit the floor with a secondary explosion.  Somewhat dazedly, she mumbled her thanks as he passed the plate off to Lexi who had also joined them in the hall.

“Yes, sir.  I’ve got several calls out already.”

He barely heard Jeri as David looped a concerned arm around Sheridan, who looked at Jon like she was going to be sick.  To him, her thoughts were dancing across her face in a Technicolor parade, and the lead float in that parade boldly asked “What the Hell Have I Gotten Myself Into?”.   But that was because he knew her.  To everyone else, she was doing an outstanding duck paddle.

She better pace herself with that paddling, because I’m nowhere near done.

“Don’t just placate me, Jeri,” he spat into the phone with uncharacteristic venom.  There would be no misunderstanding his displeasure with the situation.  “I mean it.  I’m not putting up with this fucking invasion of my private life!”

“I understand,” was her calm assurance.  “I’ll take care of it, Jon.”

“I expect answers by morning.”  He jabbed at the little touch screen and smothered the compulsion to throw the thing against the wall, instead roughly cramming it back into the same pocket he’d taken it from.  Locking into Sheridan’s still-rounded eyes, he pressed his lips together and made every effort to be civil.  It wasn’t her fault. 

Was it?

“The media knows,” he bit out.  “They know everything.  Is it possible that your family called them?”

Her expression went from dazed confusion to insulted horror and David shot him a harsh look.  “No!  They wouldn’t begin to know how to do that.”

“Alright.”  He nodded once, crisply, and pushed a heavy breath from his lungs, futilely trying to let the anger go.  Somebody was up in his business and it pissed him off to no end. 

“You’re stressing out the kids,” Dave muttered under his breath, releasing Sheridan and stepping closer.  Lexi immediately took his spot, assuming a supportive stance.  “Wanna dial it back a little?”

What the hell did they think he was trying to do?  “Workin’ on it.”

At the same time he’d exhaled, Sheridan had inhaled.  Now she shook her head in an almost imperceptible attempt to regain her composure.  “Lexi, I’m so sorry for the drama,” she apologized. 

“Bullshit,” Dave countered with a purposefully friendly smile.  “We usually scream and cuss in this hall on Saturday nights.  I was afraid my callused hide might go soft because we were skipping tonight, so this is great!” 

The lines around Sheridan’s mouth eased and her own smile became more natural.  “You’ve been such a gracious host, I’m glad we could do something nice for you.”

“You’re right.  It’s not just any guy who would give you a Super – “ His eyes flicked toward the kitchen full of young ears.  “Snail.”

The sense of humor that typically kept Jon reluctantly amused was annoying right now.  “She’s got all the snails she needs, Bryan.  Back off.  Sheridan, it’s time to go.”

His abruptness took her aback for a moment before she furrowed her forehead and started to protest.  “Jon – “

“Jon,” David overrode her.  “I get that you’re pissed, and you have every right, but keep it pointed in the right direction, man.  Nobody here deserves it.  Come on.”  His tipped his head toward the living room.  “I’ll overserve the bitch out of you with a bottle or two of wine.  Sheridan can drive home when you’ve calmed down.”

“Geez, your dad is all kinds of unhappy,” Gabi whispered to Jesse with lowered eyes as the men slipped away and the women bent their heads together to talk.  “I’d heard about his temper, but I never saw it.”

He sighed and stabbed at what looked like an eyeball made of icing.  “I’ve only seen it a few times, because it’s just work stuff that makes him that way.  Even when he and mom were getting divorced it wasn’t near that bad.”

“Or maybe you just didn’t hear it,” Colton murmured.

He didn’t believe that.  His father coveted their privacy and Jesse knew how much he despised that privacy being invaded.  It was the reason they hired extra security when Jon went on a promo blitz.  It was the reason that even the youngest of the kids knew to stay away from anybody with a camera and keep quiet. 

He wondered how long it was going to take their new step-mother to learn the lessons that had been ingrained in the Bongiovi children since birth.

She better learn it quick, because if she lets something slip, Dad will be screaming at her.

“Welcome to the limelight,” Lexi comforted Sheridan with a grim smile.  “It sucks when they start staking out your house and waiting for something to happen.  Granted, we don’t get a lot of it, but when we first got married it was hairy for a while.”

People were going to stake out their house?

Sheridan willed her lemon-rosemary chicken to stay put in her stomach and endeavored to maintain a façade of calm.  “Well, that’s something to look forward to.”

“Mm,” the other woman agreed with a knowing look.  “The baby news coming out at the same time as the marriage will make them extra excited, I would guess.”

“Oh?  Why is that?”

“It’s a ‘scandal’…”  Lexi formed air-quotes with her fingers.  “…on the man who has managed to remain scandal-less for almost thirty years.  The paparazzi and legitimate press alike will be swarming.  I hope you don’t have any secrets you want to hide.”

The image of a green-eyed, red-haired little girl sprang to mind, quickly chased by another one of Bridget.  Madison and those articles Jon hadn’t wanted her to publish.  She wasn’t ashamed of either one, but her family had no clue and they would be a mixed bag of appalled, hurt and disappointed if they found out – particularly if it was from some gossip rag.

For the first time, she had some idea of how Richie must have felt to have his personal demons exposed to the world without his permission.  It was a feeling of complete and utter helplessness, because no matter what you said or how you justified it, people were going to believe what they wanted to believe.

The difference was, he had opted for life in the public eye.  Sheridan hadn’t.

Didn’t you?  When you married a celebrity, you opted for that very same thing.  Now what are you going to do about it?