102 - Mommy and Me

“And I’ll need another set of bedding – just like the last one I bought,” Sheridan told the salesclerk at the upscale baby store where she’d gotten the nursery furniture earlier in the week.  “When can the crib be delivered?”

She was spazzing out in her own anal, obsessive-compulsive way.  Forget that she wasn’t due for almost six months – she wanted the damn crib and she wanted it now. 

Jon wasn’t quite sure what to think.  She hadn’t said another word about the baby – babies – since stepping out of that exam room an hour ago.  All she had been worried about was the damn crib. 

“Can we stop by the baby store before we go home?” was her inquiry as soon as they passed through the doctor’s waiting room.  “I need to get the other crib ordered.  And get the sheets and bumper pads and blanket and mobile....”

Seeing as he’d still been reeling a little himself, he agreed and the driver had made a beeline from SoHo to the Upper East Side.  For the time being, he had been willing to let her hide behind her on-again-off-again OCD.

Now, though, as he watched her all-but browbeat the poor sales clerk into finding her a delivery spot before next Friday, he’d had enough.  She needed to get a grip and dial her control-freak tendencies back. 

He understood that it was something tangible to do besides deal with her scrambled emotions. He got that, and it was fine for a hot minute, but he wasn’t going to let her go back down that road for a long, leisurely Sunday afternoon drive – not when they’d just left it behind.

There had been a minute in that exam room where she’d connected with the baby before the tower of twindom came toppling down on them.  That was what she needed to focus on, not a bed that the baby wouldn’t use for months.  This shit could all take care of itself at their convenience. 

“Friday is fine,” Jon interrupted the delivery debate, earning himself a look of gratitude from the young man who wasn’t living up to Sheridan’s demands.  Ignoring the incredulous disbelief that blossomed on his wife’s as she whipped her face around to him, he asked the kid, “Is there anything else you need from us?”

“No, sir, that’s everything.”

With a quick nod of thanks, he grabbed her hand and propelled a petulant Sheridan out of the store, still sputtering that she needed the crib before Friday. 

“Why?” he demanded, turning to face her as they sealed themselves into the back of the hired car.  The smoked glass panel between the front seat and the back slid up at his touch of a button, and kept their conversation  private.  “Why is it so goddamn important to have that crib in less than a week?”

Her beautifully stubborn chin jutted out, accompanied by a cantankerous creasing of her forehead.  “Because we’re having twins, you moron.”

“In SEPTEMBER, Sheridan.”  Not one-upping her in the name-calling department earned him a mental pat on the back.  If it had been Richie in the car with him, he would’ve gone straight to ‘asshole’, ‘dumbass’, or ‘dipshit’.  “And, at that, the babies will probably want to sleep together after living together for nine months.  That fuckin’ crib is your way of avoidance, pure and simple.”

“Don’t patronize me!  You know how I am.”

“I do know how you are,” he readily agreed.  “And I know how you were when you saw the baby.  You went from being some neurotic, emotionless planner to feeling something.  Don’t let that go because you’re scared of it.”

“You said you weren’t going to push me anymore!”

“I’m not pushing, dammit, I’m trying to keep you from doing a backward slide!”

Why were they both yelling?  This was supposed to be one of the coolest days of their lives and they were arguing over furniture.  How stupid was that?

Don’t be a prick.  You should know by now that isn’t going to do any damn good.

He blew out a breath and centered his focus on what was really important. 

Reaching for her hand, he pushed his fingers in between hers and squeezed their palms against each other.  “She has a head, Sheridan... and a spine.  Remember?”    

The fight left her eyes, to be replaced with a tiny, wistful smile. 

“And so does he,” Jon continued, taking her reaction as a victory.  She was a mother, not a nursery planner, and he just had to remind her of that feeling.  The tiny seed of motherhood merely needed some encouragement to grow. 

“So now we have a ‘his ‘ and ‘hers’?” she inquired through her smile.  “That way everybody’s happy.”

Once he got started, he wasn’t going to be deterred until he finished.  “We saw our babies today.  We saw or babies’ hearts beat.  Furniture and all the shit we think they need doesn’t make a fucking difference in the world.  THEY come first.  Everything else is just stuff.”

She blinked at him thoughtfully, processing what he said.  He expected her to say something that started with “But...”, and go on to outline the importance of the crib, yadda, yadda.

Not for the first time, his wife surprised him. 

“You called me Mommy.”

The corner of his mouth kicked up.  It was a funny thing for her to pinpoint, but it wasn’t furniture related, so he’d take it.  Gladly.  “That’s because you are one.”

“No.”  She shook her head gently.  “Up until then I was just going to be the woman who gave birth to a child.  Things changed.  When I saw that tiny person, I didn’t just want to do everything the books said I should be doing in preparation for her arrival, but I wanted to hold and protect her.  It was... overwhelming.”

“In a good way, though?”

She tilted her head thoughtfully, considering her answer before saying, “I... think so.  But when the second one appeared...  It was too much.  I guess that’s why I went all Crib Nazi.”

“You have a husband to lean on when it gets to be too much.  You realize that, right?”

Soulful green eyes sought his out with a helpless shrug.  “I’m pretty independent.  I’ve never leaned on anybody before.”

“Yeah, well...  Get over it.”

❧❧❧

"Hey."

She turned from where she'd been standing in the nursery doorway for God knew how long. When they got home, Jon had kissed her and disappeared into his studio, where the workers were putting the finishing touches in place.  He promised he wouldn’t be long, but he needed to make sure everything was going according to his plans, so Sheridan had gone ahead into the house to change clothes.

Only she never made it to their bedroom.  Instead, she got waylaid by the room next door. The one that had been completed only yesterday.

With its pale blue walls and pink accents, it was a simply gorgeous room. White furniture complimented the crown molding and the fuzzy white area rug in front of the crib. The matching dresser bore a soft pastel replica of Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit, making the room suited to either a boy or a girl.

Or one of each.

"Hey," she returned quietly, forcibly pulling herself from the introspection she'd been immersed in since their conversation in the car. "Everything okay in the studio?"

"Yep.  They’ll finish in the morning."  He pulled her back against his chest and looped his arms around her waist.  "Everything okay in here?  You're not planning your next order of shit are you? What's going on in that head of yours?"

The head in question settled itself in the crook of his neck and she let her weight sag against him. "Nothing. Everything. No shit ordering, but I have a whole new line of research to pursue now.  It helps that I have twins in the family, but they're still a whole different thing than a single child."

"Jesus," he laughed softly. "Go easy on the research will ya?  You'll make us both schizoid."

A neutral hum was the only promise she would give. "I was THAT close to having my head wrapped around this baby thing you know. I was finally connecting all the dots and making a picture. Then..."

"Then Karma came along and knocked you on your ass."  His arms tightened incrementally. "I know, Kitten.  I'm right there with you."

He was?  Funny, he'd acted completely unfazed by the news, particularly when giving her that profound lecture on the way home.  She had gotten the impression that he almost expected it.  Of course, why wouldn't he?

Sheridan shouldn't be so shocked. After the way things had been going, it only stood to reason that she would be carrying twins. Nothing else had been easy so far. Why would this be any different?

"I think that left wall is big enough to hold two cribs, don't you? Or would it be better to put one on the left wall and one on the right? I can’t really decide."

"Either or," he deferred absently. "I checked messages on my way through the kitchen. Riley's called four times. Have you talked to her yet?"

"No."  She wasn't ready to share this latest development. Until she could make her inner peace with it, she wasn't eager to get on the phone with her family.  "I'll call her later."

"Alright. You wanna go out for dinner?  There's a great Mexican place in Red Bank that we haven’t been to yet.”

“I’m not hungry.”

His sigh ruffled the top of her hair.  “Talk to me.  What’s wrong?”

“Wrong?” she asked with bemusement.  “Nothing’s wrong, necessarily, but nothing’s the way I expected it to be.  I’m just lost in my head right now.”

“You regretting knocking on my door in Jamaica?”

Sheridan squeezed the hands that were spread over her belly and their babies.  “Not for a minute.  Now picking up that Karma phone and dialing it...  that might not have been the smartest thing I ever did.”

He spun her in a slow, lazy circle until she faced him and he could fix her with a reproving look.  “Oh yeah?  I happen to think it was one of your more brilliant moves.  That was some amazing sex we had that night.”

“Yeah, but I was supposed to be your sex kitten, not have a litter of kittens.”

He threw his head back with the infamous nerd laugh that made her alternately cringe and smile.  “You’ll always be my sex kitten.”

“I will, huh?”  She tipped her head at an angle, fixing him with an all-seeing look.  “What about when my belly is too big to have sex?”

“I’m tellin’ ya, that day ain’t never gonna come.  You can sit on top, or take it from behind on your hands and knees, but as long as you’re willing, I’ll make it happen.”

It was the little things really.  In all likelihood she wouldn’t have any interest in sex when she was as big as a whale, but his ready willingness to do whatever it took made her feel better.  Her tone was light when scolding him, “You’re making me a suburban mom, you rat bastard.  Next thing you know I’m going to be driving a minivan.”

“Oh hellll, no.  No minivans parked in my garage,” he declared.  “Those nasty little fuckers suck the cool right outta you.  We’ll get a sexy beast of an SUV with an extra row of seats in the back, but no damn minivan.”

“Yes, dear.”  She took his hands and turned back toward the nursery before folding them once again over her waist.  “This changed everything Jon.”

“How so?”

Maybe it was silly on her part, but finding out that there were not only one, but two little people living inside of her – with heads and spines and heartbeats – had made her see things in a different light. 

“Before... it was a baby.  You and I were going to have a baby.”

“Yeah.  We still are.”

“Yes and no.  Now we’re having not just a baby, but a family.  I realize you already have a family, so it’s not that big of a deal to you, but this is kind of monumental for me.  I didn’t expect to have one child, much less two.”

“It IS a big deal for me,” he countered.  “This is a whole new ballgame from what I’m used to.  One crying baby is daunting enough, but two scares the hell outta me.”

She laughed softly.  “I’m not ready to get that real with it yet.  I’m looking in this room and seeing two tiny versions of you, sleeping peacefully.  Then in the next instant I see those same two little tiny terrors tearing the place apart as they play so hard that they wear themselves out.  It’s kind of nice to know that they’ll never be alone.  They’ll always have each other.”

“Who’s to say they’ll be versions of me?  Why not you?”

“Maybe.”  She shrugged into his embrace.  She loved that he wasn't restless for once and that he would stand here and let her daydream.  “Family means legacy though.  Since your music makes you practically immortal, you have a legacy to leave these two.  I don’t have that celebrity thing you do, but I’ve decided I need to leave them a legacy, too.”

“What kind of legacy?”

“I’m going to write a book.”

She could feel him go tense behind her.  “What kind of book?”

Jabbing him lightly with her elbow, Sheridan assured him, “Nothing that Penthouse would be interested in, I promise.  This would be for the babies, but I’m not exactly sure of the format yet.  Maybe it would be as simple as a pregnancy journal.  Something to let them know...  I don’t know.”

“That you always loved them?”

Palms stacked on top of his, and she dipped her fingers in between his open ones.  Their wedding bands shone side-by-side, looking so very right nestled there together. 

“Maybe.”

She felt his lips touch the crown of her head.  “You can do this.  There’s not a doubt in my mind.”

“You know something?”  Her fingers firmed their grip on his.  “I’m starting to think you’re right.”

Her husband sniffed arrogantly.  “Baby, that’s automatically assumed.  I’m always right, didn’t you know?”

“You’re always an arrogant SOB, too, but I try not to hold that against you.”  She squealed when he reared back and slapped her bottom with a sound smack. 

“You’re gettin’ awful lippy, woman.  You think just because you’re pregnant that I won’t turn you over my knee?”

Beaming up into his face, Sheridan felt lighter than she had in what seemed like a very long time.  Life kept throwing them curveballs, but she thought maybe she was starting to learn how to hit them.   At least they weren’t hitting her in the head now.  It was progress.

“Call me your good girl and you can do anything you want.”

❧❧❧

Mommy to Me

Friday, March 2, 2012

Today was a very eventful day in the Bongiovi household.  Why so? 

Well...

Today is your daddy’s 50^th birthday.  Your daddy is a simple man.  He didn’t want any fuss or party, he just wanted pizza.  So Mommy took him out for his favorite pizza before our doctor’s appointment.  Happy birthday, Daddy!

Today, at that doctor’s appointment, is the day we ‘met’ you for the first time, through the help of an ultrasound. 

Today you ceased to be a poppy seed, or a blueberry or any of those other things that thebump.com compares you to.  I saw your perfect little head, the delicate ‘S’ shape of your spine, your tiny heart fluttering away and even a pair of teeny-tiny feet. 

Today, for the first time, I believed that you were a real, live person living inside of me.  That you were a part of me.

Today I fell completely and totally in love with you.  (I think your daddy is a little smitten, too.) 

Today I realized that your daddy is a very smart man.  He knew all along how much I loved you and he had the patience (he doesn’t always have patience, mind you, but in this case he did) to wait until I figured it out.

Today is also the day that we found out that you weren’t our baby, but our BABIES.  Twins.  Talk about your surprises.  That threw Mommy and Daddy both for a loop.  Mommy’s first words were, “But I only bought one crib.”  Don’t judge.  You’ll be struck stupid, too, some day.  

Today Mommy promised Daddy that she would never drive a minivan.  He says they aren’t cool.  Daddy is the resident expert on cool – unless your brothers and sister are here.  Then he’s just silly.

Today I discovered that we aren’t a couple of people having a baby.  We are a family. 

And all of that was just today.

I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.