“It’s fuckin’ February.
In Jersey,” Tony Bongiovi explained very slowly to his older
brother. “Why in the hell would I want
to leave my nice, warm house in California to freeze my nuts off? For a housewarming party? I don’t think so.”
“Oh come on, ya pussy,” Jon badgered. “Come see the new place and meet my
wife. We’ll even put an extra blankie on
the bed so your candy ass doesn’t suffer from hypothermia.”
Tony grinned into his iPhone. There was nothing like a little brotherly
bashing to brighten his day. Sometimes
he missed living in Jersey with the rest of the family, but not in the dead of
winter. When they had temperatures that
involved negative signs and snow out the ass, he was quite happy in L.A..
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jon…
You can’t be bothered to call me personally and tell me you got married,
but you’re commanding my presence for a housewarming
party? Seriously?”
“I told you already, it’s more than that. Our families have never met each other, so
it’s more like a post-wedding party than a housewarming party. You’re family. I’d like for you to be here.”
He loved Jon. He
really did, but February? In
Jersey? Tony hated wearing a coat.
“I don’t wanna.”
“For chrissake, what else do you have to do? It’s not like you’ve got a girlfriend tying
you down… do ya?”
No. He did
not. He remained markedly single. Some days that was a good thing, and some
days it sucked. It just depended on his
mood. Parties like this generally marked
sucky days. They were predominantly
couples and someone was always asking him if he was seeing anyone, or how he
liked living alone.
Or, if it was one of his brothers, they were nice enough
to ask if he’d banged anybody lately.
That was only marginally better and, seeing as he hadn’t slept with
anybody in several weeks, he wasn’t going to like answering that question any
better than the others.
“I have a job – a business. I have clients who need me.”
“It’s for one fucking weekend, Tone. Just come.
We’ll hole up in my new pub and get drunk on Friday night.”
Tony snorted.
“Yeah, that sounds like all kinds of fun for your new wife. She won’t bitch about it?”
“Nah. As long as I
can manage to keep my temper in check, Sheridan never gives me grief. If I’m tied up, she does her own thing. You know I could never be married to a clingy
woman.”
“So not only is she hot, she’s perfect. Fuckin’ figures.”
The laugh that came through the line from New Jersey to
Los Angeles was as familiar as his own.
It sounded just like his own,
for that matter. Many a person had
remarked how the two brothers’ laughs were virtually indistinguishable.
“No. She’s not
perfect, but neither am I. It all works. So are you comin’ or what?”
Sighing, he knew he was going to. Tony was a pushover when it came to his
family. Whatever they wanted or needed,
he would do, and they would do the same for him. It was just the way they were and Jon knew it
just as well as he did.
That didn’t mean he had to let big brother off easy.
“You chartering a plane for me?”
“Hell no I’m not chartering a plane! You can fly nonstop from LAX to Newark any
day of the week on any major airline.”
“And here I thought you really wanted me there….”
“You little shit,” Jon laughed. “Get your ass on a plane. Ask me nice and I might even buy the ticket,
but make sure and let me know when you’re scheduled to get in. I’ll send a car for you.”
There wasn’t a doubt in Tony’s mind that a first-class
ticket and a driver were his for the asking, but he wouldn’t ask. He was a firm believer in paying his own
way. Of course, he made most of his
money by working for Jon, so technically his brother was paying for it, but Tony wouldn’t be one of the greedy bastards
that always had their hand out just because Jon had made a lucrative career of
his passion.
“If I show up, I’ll use my backstage ninja moves to catch
you off guard.” He let his voice go
dramatic for full-effect. “When you
least expect it… Expect it.”
Jon sniffed mockingly in his ear. “I’m terrified, I tell ya, Ninjovi. Now get your delusional ass here before
Saturday.”
§§§
People were pushing back their plates, laughing and just
generally talking bullshit all around him.
“You are NOT going to leave that nursery white. Seriously, Sheridan?”
Tony grinned to himself.
Sheridan’s sister – Riley? – was a piece of work. Not a bad
piece of work, but a piece of work nonetheless. It didn’t help that his sister-in-law Desiree
had joined forces with her to make a bigger piece of work.
“We’re going nursery shopping with you. That’s all there is to it. No baby needs a completely white
nursery. It’s not an operating room! Have some fun with it!”
Matt rolled his eyes at Tony and threw back another
swallow of wine. His expression and
actions seemed to scream that pregnant women would drive you to drink. Personally, Tony wouldn’t know, but if the
refill count on their older brother’s glass was to be used as a gauge, it was a
valid assessment.
“I’m going too!” piped up the redheaded friend.
“Oh for God’s sake,” sputtered the beautiful blonde that
was the newest addition to the family, leaning closer into her husband for
support. “First I don’t feel the way I’m
supposed to, and now I can’t even be trusted to decorate a room? Are you going to stage an intervention when I
try and bring it – her – home from the hospital? Take it away from the unfit mother?”
Jon just chuckled and unobtrusively slipped his hand onto
her thigh. Tony didn’t know what was
going on under the tablecloth, but from the way Sheridan jumped, he didn’t want
to.
He’d give it to her… she was a good egg from everything
he’d seen so far this weekend.
She had been warm and welcoming when he turned up on
their doorstep last night. She had a
good sense of humor and she seemed pretty laid back in general. The only thing odd about her that he’d
noticed was the way she tended to the baby as an “it-her”, but to each her own
as far as Tony was concerned.
He understood that the original plan had been for his dad
to cook – and Tony would’ve been glad to help out with that, seeing as he liked
to cook. Sheridan, however, had decided
she just wanted everyone to have a good time and get to know one another
without having to ‘work’, so she had called a caterer.
It wasn’t anything fancy, but was a nice buffet-style
setup with a little of everything. The
only thing Sheridan had made was the xerotigana pastries for dessert, for which she had recruited Stephanie to help her. Apparently the eldest Bongiovi grandchild had been on the outs with Daddy since all this went down. However, the prodigal child had now returned home, and Sheridan had done her best to embrace the girl while Jon had smiled like a sap at his little princess.
Tony didn't know what was in those pastries, although he made a mental note to ask about them later, because Sambora sure was a happy mother. Licking his fingers, he was rabidly complimenting Sheridan's honey and sliding Jon a sneaky-ass grin while Dave tried to figure out what the inside story was.
Tony didn't know what was in those pastries, although he made a mental note to ask about them later, because Sambora sure was a happy mother. Licking his fingers, he was rabidly complimenting Sheridan's honey and sliding Jon a sneaky-ass grin while Dave tried to figure out what the inside story was.
I swear to God, I
could walk away for a year and come back… nothing would change with these
guys.
The thought was both comforting and disturbing, he
decided with a small grin. At least
Sambora kept him from being the only single guy here, even though Richie was
flirting with the little blonde who was clearing the dinner plates.
Tony glanced across the living room whose lack of
furnishings had made it the prime spot to turn into a dining room for tonight’s
festivities. Absently pushing the dark
red tablecloth that covered all four of the big, round family style tables off
of his thigh he uncrossed his legs and saw that the little brunette behind the
makeshift bar was still looking like a hunted rabbit.
He’d first noticed her earlier in the day when he’d
bundled up and gone outside for a smoke.
The various staff had been setting up tables and the like, but he’d
overheard that somebody hadn’t put the bar on the truck, so she had been
huddled into her coat outside on one of the patios.
He had offered a casual greeting, but she’d done nothing more
than dart a glance his way, nod and stare back out at the river, giving him the
impression she was scared shitless of him.
Being the nice guy he was, he stepped to the other end of the patio to
give her some space.
After watching her through pre-dinner drinks and dinner, though,
he realized it wasn’t just him. It was
everyone. If the poor girl wasn’t on Valium,
she needed to be. She’d dropped
something like three glasses and splintered them across the hardwood
floor. When the head catering chick had
asked her if she needed to go home, she’d firmly shook her head and said she
couldn’t afford to pass up the paycheck.
Since then, she hadn’t broken anything, but she didn’t
look any less freaked out either. His
curiosity was getting the better of him.
Snagging his empty highball glass from the table, he
sauntered to the far corner of the room where the little rabbit girl was
pouring a glass of wine for Sheridan’s brother.
Cole?
“Hey, man,” he acknowledged the fair-haired man who was
about his height while covertly studying the petite barkeep. Her plain brown hair was pulled back into a
French braid at the back of her head and it whipped over her shoulder as she
lunged to catch the wine bottle that had just toppled.
“Hey.” Sandy
eyebrows puckered with concentration.
“Anthony, right?”
“Anthony, Tony.
Whatever.”
The Cowardly Bartender gave the guy his drink and Tony
requested a Jack and Coke. Just like on
the patio that day, she didn’t look at him.
She only nodded and left him to make small talk with the
brother-in-law. In-law. Or however that went.
“You know, I was pleasantly surprised,” Cole mused,
leaning an elbow on the portable mahogany bar.
“Being a rock star and all, I figured Jon might be a dick, but he just
seems like a regular guy. Who actually
seems to love and respect my sister.”
With a soft snort, Tony informed him, “He is a dick. But he’s my brother, so my opinion might be
tainted. He’s nuts about your sister
though, who is a sweetheart, by the way.”
“Sweetheart?” It
was Cole’s turn to snort, before paraphrasing.
“She can be a bitch, but she’s my sister, so my opinion might be
tainted. I love her just the same.”
Both men chuckled at their sibling humor and then Cole
excused himself, seeing that his wife was beckoning from the table where
Sheridan and Riley were sitting.
That left him alone with the woman who had just dropped
two ice cubes in the floor instead of his glass.
What the hell is
with this broad?
“Do you have some kind of nervous condition?” he asked
casually, with a little smile, reading the nametag attached her white tuxedo
shirt. Elizabeth. “Because if ya don’t, lemme tell ya
Elizabeth, we aren’t gonna bite you. Well… Most of us aren’t. And those who would won’t unless you ask.”
The corners of her mouth twitched, but she still didn’t
look at him. Her attention remained
zeroed in on the drink that she had finally assembled without further
incident. It was pushed in front of him
with a tiny nod. “Thank you. Can I get you anything else?”
So that was it.
She wasn’t giving up anything, even a bit of friendly conversation. Weird.
“Nah, this’ll do me for now. Thanks.”
When he returned to the table, he must’ve had a look on
his face, because the first thing that Jon did was ask, “What?”
He shook his head as he took his seat and put the new
drink on the tablecloth. “Nothin’. Your bartender could probably use this drink
more than me. That’s all.”
Sheridan, overhearing them, leaned in and quietly
agreed. “She’s very wound up isn’t
she? After she broke the third glass, I
expressed some concern to the catering manager.
He assured me that she’s typically an exemplary employee because she
needs the income so badly that she’s afraid of losing her job. Then he offered to send her home, but I just
couldn’t do it.”
“Are they our glasses she’s breaking?”
“No,” she laughed at her husband with a poke to his
ribs. “The catering service brings their
own.”
“Then I don’t give a fuck how many she breaks as long as
mine has wine in it.”
Tony silently agreed and pushed the woman from his mind
as David stood, clinking his glass with a piece of silverware. Sheridan rolled her eyes at Jon and settled
into the curve of his arm to see what the keyboardist was going to say.
Oh God, this should
be good.
“I just want to thank the lovely couple for letting us
into their new home. Sambora is relieved
that you’ve lifted the restraining order against him. I know this because he relieved himself in
the foyer.”
Everyone laughed, and Richie had the good grace to look
sheepish as he lifted his xerotigana in a quiet salute to Sheridan.
“But we got that all cleaned up so you won’t slip on your
way out tonight.” He cleared his throat
and clasped his hands together in front of him, taking in all the room’s
guests. “You all – most of you all –
know I’m a composer and a wiseass. I’ve
chosen to use those one of those powers to commemorate tonight’s lovely soiree
and its hosts.”
“Watch this folks!
He’s about to pull a keyboard outta his ass,” Richie piped in, not to be
left behind in the game of one-upmanship that the two had carried on for
years. Decades, in fact.
Subtly flipping Rich the bird, David waited for the
continued laughter to die down. Tony was
amused to see that even Sheridan’s parents were laughing at the two
morons.
“Okay, okay! Back
to my tribute that was so rudely interrupted.”
Once again, he cleared his throat.
“There once was a schmuck from New Jersey…”
Welcome to the
family.